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Rhyme Marches On Dept.
One of the hardest ways to make a living today is to be a poet. If the great poets of years gone by were alive today, they would probably be forced to find work doing something else. What would they be doing? Stick around as MAD answers this important question by showing you what things would be like

If Famous Poets Had To Make A Living Today

Lewis Carroll as a TV Critic

Frank Jacobs

'Twas Bunker and the Quincy Fonz
Did Mork and Mindy in the Soap;
All Angie were the Trapper Johns
And Dallas was Bob Hope.

Avoid the Starsky-Hutch, my son,
The Ironside with Chips beneath;
Beware the Hazzard Dukes and shun
The Mash of Osmond teeth.

But Kojak Swat may Brinkley Flo
To Lobo Welby with Cosell;
If Merv, we'll Benson to Cousteau
And Sha-Na-Na as well.

And should the Vegas Hulk return
To Sanford with Tennille, no less,
We'll Cronkite Shirley from Laverne
And Hee-Haw Meet the Press.

'Twas Bunker and the Quincy Fonz
Did Mork and Mindy in the Soap;
All Angie were the Trapper Johns
And Dallas was Bob Hope.


"Lewis Carroll as a TV Critic" was part of the article "If Famous Poets Had To Make A Living Today" published in
MAD Magazine, Number 237, March 1983.

© Copyright 1982 [sic] by E. C. Publications, Inc.

For the curious, the other poems in the article were: Rudyard Kipling as a Job Consultant, Longfellow as a Used Car Dealer, Carl Sandburg as a Travel Writer, Joyce Kilmer as a Lawyer, Edgar Allan Poe as a Pharmacist, Walt Whitman as a Mafia Don, and John Masefield as a Pro Football Linebacker.


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